Hornet Nest


We had a hornets nest in our backyard that provided a great deal of drama for Riley this weekend. I had to purchase a can of compressed noxious fluid and then in the early morning, while the hornets were sleeping, I doused the paper hive with this noxious fluid. In preparation for this activity, Lisa showed me a video of hornets attacking a beehive. The video shows the hornets closing on the peaceful hive of industrious bees, and adds the sounds of helicopters. The hornets land in the middle of the bees and then proceeded to eat all 30,000 bees in about three hours. When they are finished, they eat all of the honey. Killing works up a hunger. So, I gleefully dosed the monsters with a can of compressed poison, and then ate breakfast. Later in the day, a stray hornet, confused no doubt by the sudden death of his entire family, wandered into the house where I was again dispatched to kill. I whacked the hornet to death with a Highline Community College course catalog. Hungry, I ate a bit of honey.

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