We had a hornets nest in our backyard that provided a great deal of drama for Riley this weekend. I had to purchase a can of compressed noxious fluid and then in the early morning, while the hornets were sleeping, I doused the paper hive with this noxious fluid. In preparation for this activity, Lisa showed me a video of hornets attacking a beehive. The video shows the hornets closing on the peaceful hive of industrious bees, and adds the sounds of helicopters. The hornets land in the middle of the bees and then proceeded to eat all 30,000 bees in about three hours. When they are finished, they eat all of the honey. Killing works up a hunger. So, I gleefully dosed the monsters with a can of compressed poison, and then ate breakfast. Later in the day, a stray hornet, confused no doubt by the sudden death of his entire family, wandered into the house where I was again dispatched to kill. I whacked the hornet to death with a Highline Community College course catalog. Hungry, I ate a bit of honey.
Archive | July, 2005
My new novel, Shoot the Buffalo,was released at What the Heck Fest 2005 in Anacortes on Sunday July 17th, 2005 at 2 p.m. The book will be sent to Clear Cut Press subscribers over the summer and will be available in bookstores in September. Stacey Levine’s new novel, Frances Johnson, was also released. Publisher Rich Jensen and editor Matthew Stadler initiated the release of the books into the world with a ripping of the packing paper and the pop of a champagne bottle. He used his mouth to loosen the bottle. A woman in front of me, worried I think that the editor of Clear Cut Press would meet his end on the grass with a fizz-propelled cork penetrating his brain pan, muttered, “oh no.” Stadler, escaped his death, and the cork propelled safely into the trees.
I drove to Astoria after I took my daughter to the dentist for her first cavity filling. I dont remember getting my milk teeth worked on. The dentist was in a building I had been in many years before when I worked at The Washington State Water/Wastewater Association. I answer the phone, Water/Wastewater, can I help you?
Hemingway Mailer Harry Crews Bukowski those men who wrote of rowdy brawling, fast living, and wanton women. Where have their kind gone?
Look no further than your own backyard, you simpering little newspaper writer! Two of Portlands most manly are joined by Seattles up-and-coming hairy-chested star for an hour of big adventures full of large hard-working men…
I read from my new collection of stories, The Moss Gatherers, 7:00 p.m. on July 7th at Lucys Books in Astoria (48 12th Street or call 503-325-4210). Lucy’s books is an excellent bookstore in the often foggy downtown region of Astoria.
Article in The Daily Astorian.
On July 2nd at 7:30 PM I’ll be reading at RASP’s (The Redmond Association of the Spoken Word) reading series which takes place in the made-completely-of-wood building in the center of Redmond, Victor’s Coffee Company. I’ll read from The Moss Gatherers. There is also an open mic. Sign up at 7 p.m.
I went hiking last weekend with my father. My father has invited a young man who he met on the bus my father drives to live with him in his little house in Fall City. My father’s house only has one bed. The young man didn’t have any shoes.